know that worrying is aseffective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewingbubblegum.

Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved byscientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliablethan my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;
oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewingbubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body,use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

.Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse;
but you never know when either onemight run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it willlook 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way offishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over theugly parts and recycling it for more thanit’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen

I quit.

too much to do.

too little money.

and now Jon is pissed off at me.

screw this.

phone is off.

dissertation is open.

painkillers are next to water glass.

Door is locked.

Grapes are ... there. (*munch*)




and now the world can just royally get lost becasue i'm fed up with it.

I Quit.

A few things (in list format)

• did you know that i am considered a "list" kinda girl. It was only when i was thinking about lists that i found 4 of them. A to-do list (which is now in my new diary that my mum sent me in a "stop writing shit on the Internet" kinda gesture. That, and it really is perfect for my daily lists.) A to-eat list (this one's in my head, but it contains the use by dates of the stuff in my fridge) a to-wear list ( things i need available to wear to work, and things that i can't find in my wardrobe at the moment and hence have been classified "Sister Nicked".) finally a list containing the list of things i need to write about lists. Oh. If only you knew my 'real' surname. You'd all laugh. Oh. found another one. Library books to get.

• My housemates and myself have a new routine. We have named it "Go swimming, eat curry, drink beer and play board game Thursday". English students - we are not. Perhaps we should work on the name a little. G.E.D.a.PT. No. That doesn't work either. Any way this weeks board game was RISK. Which. Is. Just. The. Best. Game. E.V.E.R. Story time:

So there is suddenly 6 people sponsoring Go swimming, eat curry, drink beer and play board game Thursday, which is a perfect board game number. There's me (duh), Bill, James, Intel, Pierre and Mrs Pierre and we all pick colours and team names as such (abusive nicknames in brackets):

• Intel - Germany (bloody efficient ones) - Yellow
• James - England (Have you got a flag?)- Red
• Bill - France (Bloody French)- Blue
• Mrs Pierre - Gay Pride (Army of Poofs) - Purple
• Mr Pierre - The Army of Death/The Army of Mordor (Evil Bastards) - Black
• Me - The Eco Warriors (Those Hippie Bastards) - Green

There were several major battles. Many wars. There were even gummy bears taken hostage by Those Evil Bastards. Mr Pierre even used a roll of sellotape as "the eye of mordor". There were crys of "Jesus! The Poofs have taken South America!" and "You. Will. Die!". There were alliances made, and more spectacularly broken. There was abuse screamed in French, English, German, Spanish, Flemish and Swedish - and in various colours.

after 4 hours of play, the important thing? I bloody won! Go Eco Warriors! The world map in the kitchen is now offically "My Empire". That is untill the next time we play and they all kill me off first.

Next week. Pictionary.

• Lastly, have just found out that the new college they are building here is going to be called the Virgina Wolf College. Of Wolfy. Nice.

Recipes

Stuff I can now make:

• tea cakes with smarties
• tea cakes with flakes
• tea cakes with sprinkles
• Viennese Swirls
• Viennese fingers
• praline fingers
• Cream slice
• chocolate crispy
• chocolate flakes
• Cream Horns
• Cream jam sandwich thing
• bread budding
• Marshmallow cones
• rum truffles
• butter cream
• marshmallow
• chocolate
• icing

Tonight: Swiss Rolls, and some of the Pies.

Ideas for valentines day:

• *Chocolate and Beetroot cake (mini ones + big uns) with rose petal and chocolate frosting.*
• Cup cakes/ muffins - pink + chocolate decor. Classy.
• edible glitter?
• chocolates?
• NO BOUGHT IN PINK HEARTS.

Not a good day.

I now know of 3 couples that have broken up in the last few days.

Joy to Facebook.

I'm considering locking Jon in my cupboard for safe keeping.

Uncle Tinny

As I sit here listening to my uncle telling your colourful story I think back over the years to what I can remember of you.

It's year 3 and i'm writing about what i've been up to in the summer holidays. I think me, Mum and LilSis had flown out to visit Pops 'casue he was away on A Big Boat. I wrote that my Uncle Tinny had taken me to the airport so we could go on a big plane. My teacher said that no one was called "Tinny" and that i had spelt it wrong, or misunderstood. I thought she was thick because it was a London name, and she was Cornish.

It was years later when I found out your real name, and i remember feeling a little disappointed.

You used to give me and LilSis loads of one dollar notes when you took us to the airport en route to the states. I think people used to give them to you as tips.

If it's ok with you, I'll remember you in your Postman Pat van, on the way to Gatwick, in the middle of the night.

Dad'll miss you.

Sleep well.

p.s If you ever want to tell me how to win on the horses - I'll be sure to listen.

Impending Sense of doom

Is a medical term.

I had it this morning.

Some day's I would just like to plod through the day without annoying any one, or doing anything wrong.

in the immortal words of Bridget Jones:

"It's only a diary - every one knows diary's are full of shit"

Sorry Mum. I do love you, I was only having a rant. xxxxx

Noro

The Noro has struck us down!

Young, innocent, practically virgin (if you squint), fresher Crunchie has scummed to it's evils.

She spent all night throwing up in the loo while me and Intel cursed her. [ personally, i though Token was pissing me off AGAIN on purpose cause I had another go at her for smoking in the kitchen]

Poor babes!

Don't come home until 2 day's after you've stopped decorating the bathroom: i read up on it on the t'internet. Wiki - as we all know - never lies.

love!

p.s Intel did question why, the day after Chrunch was declaring how much work she REALLY does do, when we are all not looking, she buggers off home.

Speaking of Job's

I've got [another] interview for a PGCE which I have now made stand for:

Poor Girl Can't find Employment

or

Please God, not a Children's Entertainer

any more on the back of a £20 note to the usual address.

and my beautiful - if forever grumpy- other half has a job interview as well!

Baby, we're going up in the world!

A butcher a Baker and a candle stick maker

whooooooop.

I have a JOB! YES! money. At last.

I am a baker. :-) I make cakes, cream filled things, biscuits, pies, bread, pastry, bacon turn overs, cheese filled things, sausage rolls etc etc etc. Basically, anything yummy.

AND I get to design my own line!!! Including:

very posh cakes
birthday cakes
any new baked stuff.

Brilliant!

You may all now refer to me as "Chef".

Gracing my inbox today:

Jenny Bean,

I don't really even know if i should call you that any more? Anyway, well i decided that i should really just clear the air so to speak, and be completely honest. Not even sure if you'll choose to read this but here goes...

So, where did all of this start? I'm still actually really confused about what actually happened, and why we aren't really speaking to each other (I thought our relationship was stronger than that). From my point of view, you were acting funny before the wedding, and then stopped speaking to me after (I rang you several times on our way up to dover for our honeymoon and you didn't answer, and I got the feeling you were ignoring me). I then sent you a text saying I was back and you happily replied, but then i didn't hear from you until you when you and Jon broke up and I texted you at new year. Which is a grand total of 1 conversation and 2 texts in 5 months (+ graduation). You mentioned when you rang that we were better off leaving 'the issue' but i think that from your point of view i've done something wrong, and from mine you've done something wrong. I'm just going to be honest,

-I didn't know that there were any major problems between you and me, until my mum (through your mum through a horrible text message) told me that you were crying and making a fuss on the morning after the wedding, that I had forced you to buy things and spend lots of money. So assumiong this is true and it wasn't just a case of bad chinese whispers, I will answer back to this-

The dress was £210, which you agreed to pay (I also remember saying at the dress shop that i didn't realise the dress was going to be so much and that you could choose another one if you weren't happy spending that much money- and you said you were loaded after being payed for the SAS and in london. When the other dresses came in as cheaper, I felt really bad and offered to pay for your shoes.

I payed £65 for the shoes, and £15 to have them dyed. Then £30 getting the alterations on your dress. which is £110.

Mrs Doctor payed £130 for her dress, £65 for her shoes, £15 for dying and then £20 for alterations. Which is £230- so you actually payed less than her.

I payed for the inital train tickets which was £40, and then you decided to drive. I also payed the £15 for both you and Jonto attend the minack which you didn't want to/couldn't attend. Dad payed for everything in london so that didn't cost you anything.

- The hen party was a real let-down if I am going to be honest. It was nice to get ready together, it was great that it was a suprise, and the restraunt was nice. But it was obvious that after jumping at the chance to be my head bridesmaid and plan the hen do, you put no effort into it. My mum only found out through a text from your mum, Mr Sarah's mum only knew through The sister, and The Other sister didn't end up there, as although you sent an initial text, you didn't follow any of it up. I know i said i didn't want it cheesy, but a plan would have been great, like a pub crawl with forfeits to complete? As it was in truro and there were only a couple cars, which meant that Mr Sarah's mum didn't come and that was a shame. I really feel that after the SAS you had a lot of free time and that Jon became your priority and that the hen party was pushed back in your mind- really all that happened was a meal out. I think you'll agree that if it had been your wedding and your hen night- you would have wanted more than that.

- The night before the wedding I was really upset. It had been planned like 2 months before that we were all going to my mums for a girly night in. Jon, and a shag, was obviously more important. You not being there really made me question my choice of bridesmaid, and i was honestly upset at you not wanting to be there with me.

-The wedding days itself you seemed really distracted and that you would have rather not been there. Although i did love your speech- you looked bored and annoyed during dinner. Then you disappeared half way through the reception (you did send Jon to apologize)- at what i think was about 9.30ish- as you aren't in any of the evening reception photos. I understand that you spilt chocolate down your dress, but i wouldn't have cared if you came back down in jeans. All of those nearest and dearest to me stayed up until 2 in the morning dancing and talking, drinking and watching us open presents.

- the morning after you just vanished- I know you were heading back to london, but you didn't even say goodbye.

I've been told by several people that big events and major moments help you to realise who your true friends are, and I really feel that you did not do your bit to show you were a true friend.

I feel that all throughout that week you were absent, absent in your planning of the hen do,absent at the minack that had been planned for weeks, absent the night before the wedding, absent during the wedding in mind, and then literally that night and then vanishing right after breakfast.

please let me know what issues you had so i can get some closure.
Mrs Sarah

----------------------------------------

is it me, or does it sound like i've been dumped?

I have never...

.. Claimed to know anything about men.

Apart from the fact that they like sex
no, wait, my sex drive is higher than most blokes

Apart from the fact that they like food.
no, wait, there was the Ex that hated eating.

Apart from the fact that they don't like to show their emotions.
Ah, Brave heart sorted Jon out. Kleenex everywhere.

Ok. Apart from the fact that they like boobs.
ahh... ok. I'll give you that one.

But still, The Opposite Sex confuse the bejesus out of me. Jon's been ill, and therefore grumpy, for the best part of 2 weeks now. So me being The Girlfriend thought:

"Well, even though he's actually been a bit of a shit - selfish, stroppy, ungrateful - and I'm hanging on to the glimmers of nice things he's said or done lately.. I think I'll do something nice to cheer him up. It's not nice being ill, and I'd want him to look after me if I was ill. Besides, I love him and we've decided to take the rough with the smooth"

What did I decide? Well it actually stems from LilSis who was ubber chuffed when New Mr LilSis instructed her that he was taking her out for dinner.

Me: hey honey..
Jon (JD): Hey babe..
Me: I was wondering, after the football today, if you wanted to pop over so i can treat you to a nice dinner?
JD: Well, I'll see how I feel later and give you a bell.

quoi? did I do it wrong? where was the swooning? no leaping into arms? or ripping off my new underwear in a fit of passion?

my romantic lasagna is now in the freezer, awaiting another day, the new pants are in the washing pile maybe to be worn another day, perhaps, if I'm not too tired, possibly, if the football doesn't drag on, or not too many people need to be taken into hospital.

sometimes? I wonder why I bother.

On a positive note, the lack of boyfriend related distractions this weekend have resulted in a surge in the word count on my dissertation: now on 4,306. 5,000 by Monday i hope!

Does it count?

If I fill my Dissertation with beautiful diagrams courtesy of Word 2007 ....

... Will I get a higher grade?

Cause DAMN they are pretty.

So...

I like you
Between You and Dan White


Dan White
Hello, hows you?
Now, with the year drawing to a close, honesty finally shows through and all that. I know its not a secret but its sometimes nicer to vocalise these things and indeed...I still like you. I guess I'm just stubborn and I know theres no chance but hey, what the hell, I'll tell you anyway :)

I hope you enjoy your new years celebrations, don't drink too much.
xxx


Jennifer Watson
not drinking too much won't be a problem as I'm driving up to Jon's house (in norf london) tomorrow! I'm just having a quiet night in with my Nan. How rock and roll!

Dan, Dan, Dan. You are so lovely. And funny.
but gawd your timing sucks.

I'm not going to give you any false impressions here: Me and Jon are "together".

Basically, I think I'm trying to say Never say Never because I do like you too. :-P but I am a taken lady (as of midnight tonight)...So it may well be Never.

ok, i'm rambling.

Have a lovely new year xx

p.s I don't think I ever apologised for pulling my "Surprise Snog" move on you!!!??


Dan White
hehe, my timing has never been great...always got me into trouble when I was playing in the band :) I know you are spoken for, you told me a few weeks ago you guys were going to try things again and I really think that's great. I mean you already know each other really well and you have a history so my fingers are honestly crossed that it works out for you.

Despite that, I'm still stubborn and I'm still going to like you :P I hope you drive sensibly and arrive safely.

Oh, and do you know anything about guys?! Since when does a beautiful girl have to apologise for kissing a guy?! God knows I wanted to kiss you for most of the evening and each time the memory of that night crosses my mind I regret not pulling you back and kissing you again. But I think that's mainly because I know that I really sucked in that kiss because I wasn't expecting it and I wanted a chance to prove that I'm not diabolical at kissing :)

Have fun sweety xx

Offically Normal

I've just had my last counselling session!

Apparently I am quite endearing and will go far and prosper (I added the last bit on myself).

"Does this mean I am normal now?"
"Not a chance Jen"

Home Sweet Home

Ahhhhhhhhhh. I'm back in Canterbury. A week of just me and James chilling out and dissertating.

It's lovely to have my own space again. You know you've been away too long when you can't even throw your apple core in the bin.. bugger.. i just missed again.

Spent the last week with My Boyfriend :-) at his and his Mum's house. I do love him, even though he was such a moody ill person for the whole time. I guess I'll cash in my "you said you'd do something nice for me for Christmas" card later. I did get breakfast in bed the first day I was there though.. so it's not all bad.

Totally flipped out on the way back from Norfolk (where The Mother's house is). She and Jon were talking about what we're all doing next Christmas! already! The commitment bell went off inside my head and I very nearly jumped out the nearest window.

Then Jon turned down the music in my car when all I wanted to do was sing very (badly) loudly to chill out a bit.

He was lovely though and gave me a big hug when i stopped at a service station in the middle of no where.

I haven't heard from him much this week actually... hope he's ok. Probably just busy.