Men are like buses

But I only want to ride on Jon.

heheheheheheh! I'm so rude.

So, here it is, before I chicken out/if i chicken out on the phone:

Jon,

I love you. I loved your smile from the moment I sat down at that little plastic table on the sunniest day. You are my best friend, the one I tell all my secrets to. You are my lover, the one I dream of. You are my partner, the one I feel lost without.

The world has more laughter in it when I'm with you.

We've had problems, and we've still got some. I'm not saying it'll be easy, or it'll be perfect. I am saying that I'm willing to try. For you.

Will you be mine, for 2008, maybe more?

Jen

The way it used to be.

It's 2004.

We are all Friends, a big group. Some kind of strange family. Maybe I am the "Mummy", maybe I am one of The Kids. All I know is that I am in one of the three couples within our family. Me and Clark Kent. Mr and Mrs Sarah. Mr and Mrs Doctor. Me and Mrs Sarah are the bestest Friends in the whole world - I'm so glad she's going to Uni with me! We might even live together!!

We are having such fun! I'm just finishing my A levels and I'll be off to Uni soon.

Only problem is that I kinda fancy doing the whole Uni thing on my own. Without my super hero. He agrees though.. so it should all be ok. Very sad, but Ok.

I'm at uni now, living with Mrs Sarah. I still seem to be going out with Clark Kent. He's still so happy... I'm not. Well, I am. I just notice that i'm making much less of an effort than him. And I don't really want to try any more.

Mrs Sarah says I should break up with him. Maybe she has a point.

Oh My god. For some reason Mr Sarah is telling people I cheated on Clark! I'd like to know with who!?!

So The Group think's I'm a cheat. Great. At least Mrs Sarah is on my side.

It's 2007 (just)

Mrs Sarah isn't talking to me. Mrs Doctor is her new best freind. I'm not invited to stuff any more. Which does make me sad, and lonely, when I come back to mums. I do miss her.

But.

I'm not sure (other than Bill, and maybe even Island Boy) if I have anything in common with them any more. I get on so well with Ella and James and Crunchie and Intel and all my Ladies from Hell's Accountancy ( and the blokes too) maybe I've out grown cornwall.

Honestly. I'm not sure if i'll ever come back here for more than a weekend ever again and that makes me feel surprisingly free.

So good bye Old Family. I'm not sure what I did wrong - I'm sorry for whatever it was.

phew...

first there was Matt and the great shoe debacle...


... Now it turns out [via messages on Myface] that Dan does not like literature.

Personally, I can't wait for the second thing me and Jon buy [if we do ever live together] to be a massive bookcase to start out library.


Oh, The First item is going to be an espresso machine.

Sometimes

My little brain can not cope:

Jon accidentally called himself my boyfriend today.

Dan asked what my boyfriend has got me for Christmas and he hopes I was spoiled [Jon is going to do something nice when I go up next week]

Jon has just admitted to deleting photos of us.

I'm going to bed with mum's DS to train my brain into sleep.

huff.

Daddy or chips

one of The greatest questions of all time. However, what about Mum or Dad.

Ever since I was little, while Dad was away on Big Boats saving the world, I have been Mummy's little girl but I think that is changing.

This holiday has just pointed out how little I have in common with her. Absolutely no disrespect meant here, but she left school at 16 and has basically had "little" jobs to tide her over through everything. Good on her. Super proud. But it's not for me.

She just doesn't seem to "get me" any more. LilSis'll shout at me for being what she calls stuck up, or posh. Is it that wrong to want more? I don't want to end up in cornwall. I don't want to end up married to a bloke that travels a lot. Not because that is what Mum picked, but because I know it'd drive me absolutely barmy.

I want the suburbs god dammit. And a career. With lots of Stuff. I definitely do not want to turn the hot water off to save money in December. [I am very bitter that I have not been able to enjoy the luxury of having a bath when I'm at home - as Uni doesn't have one]

You know what - I am a Geek, I spend too much money on beautiful shoes, I want a good job to take advantage of my degree, and, I am a daddy's girl entirely. I'm just not sure when the last one quite happened.

Not quite sure what i'd do without Pops. Who would I try to impress.....

He's not giving in...

hello
Between You and Dan White


Dan White
11:36am Dec 26th
Hey Beautiful,

How are you? I hope you've been enjoying your Christmas. Did santa bring you everything you wanted? I trust you're not too bored and you're enjoying eating BIG meals :)

Take care xxx

I will be travelling up north on the 1st

Does anyone need a lift?

Music taste is questionable.

radio silence

I have 2 cards that never quite got delivered this year: one to Mr and Mrs Sarah and one to Mr and Mrs (sic) Doctor.

I thought i'd see them both so I wouldn't have to post them. Must remember next year to buy two more stamps.

That makes me sad.

Stash

A generic Christmas really... most exciting moment was when Dad rang me to tell me he had just bought a PS3. What. A. Legend.

My Stash:
Vera Wang - Princess perfume
Vera Wang - Princess body wash.
thorntons choccies
selection box
Voucher (topshop)
Posh smellies (must send thank you card)
Posh photo album (must send thank you card)
Nice note cards (ditto)
A groovy pillow with a speaker in it for your iPod
Smoothie book
tights
hair bands and little bits
Ben Elton book
Chocolates
More chocolate
moolah
more moolah
..... i think that's it. Not bad eh.

Have just got car back from Pug Land. They fixed:
Leaky back passenger door.
Mad "spazzy" back windscreen wiper
Bulb in numberplate
Checked tires and drive shaft/steering
Also checked computer for any strange engine stuff cause Missey cut out on me twice the other day.. strange.

All this even though there is a 3 week wait for an appointment. A smile goes a long way. :-)

I've stated 5 different posts in the last few days...

..... and still nothing worth mentioning has happened.

I did get stuck behind 2 tractors yesterday though.

(seriously, this is the level of the excitement)

Hopefully more info before christmas.

Letter

Matt,

I'm sorry. I've been thinking about what happened and I admit I acted without grace or class. I have wanted to write for a while. I text you the other day, wanting to explain. Now I know that you don't want to hear from me. I know how it looked like I just dismissed you and ran back to what I knew; this was not the case. I'd like to explain.

I stopped fancy-ing you the moment you stood on my new boot, you wanker. How dare you think your stupid dirty man shoes could grace my beautiful soft shiny leather in some strange flirting ritual. You should have taken your chance while you had it, because now I am bored with you. Not to mention royally pissed off.

You may forgive me in time for running off (again) with your best friend. I will never forgive you blatant lack of respect for my boots, you twat. I'm half tempted to go and buy some (cheaper) boots and beat you over the head with them as punishment - how ever you're not even worth it.

I'd also like to say that when I told Jon of your blatant and inexcusable stomp, his face was filled with real understanding of my pain. Now, That's a real man.

Hope you and your family are well.

Jennifer.

p.s Face? Bovverd.

I love LilSis..

why? Many reasons.

At this moment because when confronted with the beginning of The Lion King she announces - mid song - "I wish I was a lion..." the goes back to MyFace as though nothing has happened.

"Proper Job"

according to Lil Sis mum's new bloke is Proper Cornish.

I've just hired her as my official translator. Proper Job.

Matt...

.... Is definitely not talking to me.

I am mildly annoyed by this.

I'd like to point out that Dan is still talking to me.

humphf.

Home*

* Is it really home if you feel like you want to go home as soon as you get there.

I miss James, Crunchy, Intel, Pierre and the Uni Bunch. [I also miss Bill but he's just round the corner, well 10 miles away]

oh, and I so wish Jon was here!!!! Then at least I would have a partner in crime.

I wonder if he'll come and visit...

200 santa's were in my pub!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyu_cDwesRk

Happy Chillimas!

Just had our Mexican Style Christmas dinner: Chili and tequila sunrises!

Jon came down, so there were 9 of us in total! Though it did just end up as Me, Jon, James, Bill and NorthLondonBabe playing cards until silly o'clock!

Was really really really lovely to chill out with all of my friends with Jon. I even think he had a nice time, was lovely to see him smile.

I wonder if he's reading The Blooog again....

It's not what you know

turns out OldBoss has told her OldBoss in the OR department of a Big Airline about me!

He's just sent me an email saying that he's looking forward to my application!!

and that my years work experience is equivalent to a Masters to them because they know OldBoss would have made me work to that level anyway!

Do a little dance, Make a little love, and indeed, get down tonight!

Stuff that does not go well with a cheap red wine hangover

08:02 this morning

*beep beep, Beep beep* \message
"Wakey wakey sleeping beauty" - Dan White

*yawn* what the?.. Who? ...Water.. where's my bloody phone... How..?(reads message after digging phone out from under foot - don't ask)

Crap. Must tell Dan am now protected by big strong Jon shaped cave man. Ow. Head hurts. Stupid wine. Ugh. He's so sickeningly cute. I may actually throw up...Wait a moment... Stop the noise!

*beep beep, Beep beep* \message
"Morning my little Mexican wave....*" - Jon Delaunt

Ahhhh. now That's more like it. :-)


* in reference to our Mexican Christmas dinner this evening. We're using up the contents of the freezer and making Chili instead of yet another turkey.

Ok, well that didn't go to plan

So it turns out that just when I was going to tell Jon where to get off he says lovely things and makes me smile. Damn him.

I love the fact he (and only he) can do that.

.... I also loved that James wandered upstairs after reading said post and asked "So, will you be needing my forensic expertise to hide the body?" Now that's friendship.


I also love Jon, like, oolions.

Curiosity: Mass Murderer

ok, fine. What ever. I looked.

I. Am. So. Stupid.

Here I was thinking that *something* might be fixable but oooooooooooooh no he's got a BLOODY LIST OF PEOPLE THAT HE LIKES.

AND HERE I WAS HAVING A BLOODY FUCKING MORAL BREAK DOWN OVER POSSIBLY LIKING ONE PERSON!!!!

FUCK

AND ..... STUFF


I can feel a long post brewing. But for now I'm just going to throw some things.

I could sweeten my coffee with the lines you're pulling

Dan White
Today at 9:41pm
hey stranger. Hows you? How is your week going? I thought I was supposed to be your special guy?! What you talking about loving the older men?! xx


Jennifer Watson
Today at 9:42pm
I wasn't aware you had been awarded the "Special Guy" award my love!


Dan White
Today at 9:46pm
It was a work in progress I admit, but I was hoping that I had at least convinced you to consider the prospect...?! xx


Jennifer Watson
Today at 9:49pm
see, i think you've massively underestimated how much effort I require! You've got through the first round though, haven't you. :-) xx


Dan White
Today at 9:52pm
Please don't get me wrong, how ever much effort it takes I am willing to put in...even from what little of the Jennifer Watson I have seen, you are definitely worth it. I just hope that your attentions aren't scattered so thin that you miss my efforts!! xx


Jennifer Watson
Today at 9:52pm
trust me, I'm looking.


Dan White
Today at 9:56pm
I'm quite glad you re not able to see...I'm almost jumping for joy!!! especially considering how quick witted and intelligent you are...that was hell of a line about me sweetening your coffee!!! xxx

Drunk.

I am drunk and Oooooh does it feel good.

Was talking to James earlier, about Dan. Mainly about shagging Dan.

An awful thought appeared in my head when it was suggested that Dan in is "niceness" and "Worship" of Jen would be a Make Love kinda bloke.

I only made love with Jon.

Bugger.

Also, Nice Lady [who is now blog reader, yay, ello] said that we (me and Jon) seem to spiral, not circle. I liked that.

*serious thought has just been used in the decision to open the bottle of my favourite red which is currently in my knicker draw*

Fuck. What do I want....

Wwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :-)

Coffee means..

.. coffee.

I have just asked Dan for a coffee this weekend.

He's just replied saying "that would be wonderful"

Too keen?

S02 E05 - The Crash.

My life is now officially part of some strange daily channel 4 soap - with less attractive people.

While eating dinner Jen and James note the fabulous song on the radio. Burial - Archangel, it's fabulous so Jen and James go for a drive (once Jen has shown James how to find anything on the Internet in under 10 seconds) to listen to the album at very high volumes which are not reachable in a shared student house.

The drive turns a little into a trip down memory lane for James, as they visit some of the towns he used to live in. The they notice that the car is at an angle... and that steering is heavy. Yes. A flat tire.

James becomes strangely manly and fixes tire in under 10 Min's, with Jen expertly holding the nuts. It's 3 degrees. They don't have coats. It's very very dark. Have I mentioned cold?

Once that adventure was done the pair ambled down to a sea side town, and stop to check the tire. All's good so they head home.

Just round the corner they stop to let someone reverse into a parking space. They hear a screech, a bang. Then they are hit. James swears and Jen remembers bad crashes. They're ok. Both get out at same time. Bloke in car behind is holding his head in his hands. Bloke in car behind him is walking around. Jen opens the drivers door.

Hello babe, What's your name?
Phillip
Hi Phillip, I'm Jen. Are you in any pain at all?
my neck.
Ok love, Try not to move for me. Do you feel dizzy at all?
No..
Do you think you need an ambulance about your neck?
No.. It's just pulled.

Jen notes that he's not making eye contact with her, but he doesn't really seem interested in her help. Jen wishes Jon was there.

There's not much damage. James and Jen leave, there doesn't seem to be any marks on Rick [Jame's car]. James ask's Jen if she's ok in a very tender voice. They laugh.

Home to bed.

Rules

Someone close has written some rules for life...

Got me thinking about mine, or at least what I'd like to try and be or do...

1. Try.
2. Think.
3. Love.
4. Forgive.
5. Remember.
6. Accept.
7. Patient.
8. Calm.
9. Generous.
10. Strive.

I'm going to start labeling posts with these tags...

Flirting 101

hey
Between Jennifer Watson and Dan White

Dan White
6:54pm Dec 5th
Hows you?!I know you don't like facebook (crazy person :P) but how else was I supposed to say thanks for your wonderful company last night?! And for a fantastic goodbye!!Are you coming to R's drinks on friday?I hope your interview went well today xx


Jennifer Watson
Today at 10:02pm
Hello you.Interview sucked!! Failed my first ever maths test.. woo!! Personally, I blame the beer you brought me for clouding my head in the morning...Was lovely to meet you too, glad someone with some .... spunk??!!.... is working there in my place.and yes, Thank You for a lovely goodbye!J x


Jennifer Watson
Today at 10:08pm
oh and i meant to ask, what division are you in for sja?


Dan White
Today at 10:10pm
Oh my god, I'm so sorry!!! If you are out tomorrow I'll make it up to you with more beer!!! It took William a while to recover from Tuesday!! He was funny that night!!You need to get a new favourite word :) You're a good dancer too!!Get your nose down to your dissertation again...but dont work too hard xx


Dan White
Today at 10:11pm
I'm chairman of Links at my uni...we're a division in our own right :) Are you in it??? Which one are you? xx


Jennifer Watson
Today at 10:14pm
well... it's a loooooooong story [most of mine are].Let's just say that i'm aware of most of the happenings within London. Also this now officially makes you "My Type". Congratulations, your death certificate will be posted to your next of kin shortly.


Dan White
Today at 10:24pm
I'm your type....???? YES!!!!!!!!!So being in St John makes me your type?? xx


Jennifer Watson
Today at 10:32pm
some may say that! Let's play "What Am I?"
I was a young cadet once, back when there was still a sexy hat.
I know the call signs for most of north and west london's motors...
I "Borrowed" a cadet badge from a treatment center because it was shiny...
I have sown on more badges than I care to mention!
I write with a new logo sja pen in lectures..

What Am I boys and girls?? Yes you guessed it! The ultimate sja members girlfriend!!
Don't panic - i am single tho :-P. You won't get stabbed next time you do a duty!


Dan White
Today at 10:36pm
well if you're the ideal sja member's gf....perhaps thats something that should be looked into!! I hope you'll be out tomorrow night so that I have another chance to impress you, I know I can do so much better!! xx


Jennifer Watson
Today at 10:41pm
smooth. very smooth.Not tomorrow i'm afraid. Got plans. Maybe in the new year tho..if you're lucky and are on Santa's good list....... or the naughty one for that matter!!!


Dan White
Today at 10:45pm
you've peaked my interest!!When are you heading off home to Cornwall? Lucky Cornwall!!!I owe you at least one drink...preferably more because you might be more open to me then ;) xx


Jennifer Watson
Today at 10:49pm
oh you're going to have to try much harder than alcohol!
I'll let you know dates cheeky.
I'm going to be an old woman and go to bed, Night!x


Dan White
Today at 10:51pm
my dear, I think I stand a fair chance of "woo-ing" you...pardon the old timey lingo there!!
I hope you won't forget about lil ol' me wasting away north of the river while you're swanning it south of the water!!
Sweet dreams my dear...keep smiling that wonderful smile xx

Round 19

So, it seems that ringing the doorbell at 1 in the morning is acceptable behaviour.

Intel has just disconnected the bell.

I love tall men with purpose.

The First Maths Test

Today I failed my first ever maths test.

It was multiple choice.

It was in my interview.

Meh.

Love is...

... James queuing for a carol service ticket for me with Pam when I was in London and surprising me with them when I got home.

Yay! I can go!

Hell's Christmas Party

Met up with the Old Bunch from last year to attend Hell's Accountancy's Christmas Dooo. Now, the New Bunch of students are generally considered to be much more sensible than The Old Bunch. Which is understandable, come on, last year we had D (the man hungry partay animal) and Moi forming the well known comedy duo Double Trouble.

It's like replacing Vodka Jelly with .... Vanilla Ice cream. Ice cream is good and it does it's job, but Vodka Jelly is just more fun.

They attempted to re-create the magic of The Panto that we all wrote and performed in last year. All I remember is that they threw sweets out at one point. [i spent the rest of the show fighting with Old Boss about who should get the red lolly instead of the purple lolly]

After the quite scrummy meal we all ended up at the pub which we always end up in.

SomeNewStudent: Oh my goodness, Dan was just rude to me.
SomeOtherNewStudent: Oh, what did he say?
SomeNewStudent: He swore at me!
*Me and D Listening at bar rolling eyes, very drunk*
SomeOtherNewStudent: He is just awful!
Me: Ladies Ladies, what's the problem?
SomeNewStudent: Oh!! Are you Jenny?.. and D?
D: What did we do? How did you know? It was definitely us, and we loved it baby!
Me: No D, they don't know about that, .....one of TheNewBunch lad's was rude to them.
D: oh for F**k sake. Which one? Do you want me to slap him for you? Does he know about the ice...
Me: .. Shoosh. They don't know about That! Look which one?
D: Oh I love it when you're all teacher.
Me: I know you do baby.
D: *laugh* you are such a looser. *goes back to finding more free drinks*
*Girls stood there looking a little bemused by this point*
OldBoss: Jen, You miss behaving?
Me: Always.
OldBoss: Ahh, That's my girl
Me: Look, Ladies, which one?
Them: The one over there.
Me: you stay here. I'll sort it.

.. /me sashays over to cocky shit

Dan: Why, Hello. You must be Jen.
Me: What do you know?
Dan: I saw the video of your panto on the shared drive.
Me: I bet it made you green with envy.
Dan: Why?
Me: 'Cause yours what sh*t.
Dan: No it wasn't.
Me: Who wrote it?
Dan: Me!
Me: Ahh, So it's your fault it was crap.
Dan: Alright then, who wrote yours?
Me: Me. And you know what, people laughed at mine.[blatant lie, we all did, but I was drunk and flirting, allowances can be made to the truth]
Dan: You're spunky you know. I like it.
Me: Hm. Any way, I hear you were rude to ladies?
Dan: Ah yes. So can I buy you a drink?
Me: Well, seems you're learning.


**Later**

William: That little student fancies you.
Me: Sad isn't it.
William: Snog him!
Me: He's like 12.
William: He's 20!
Me: Please! He's 12! and I'll eat him alive.
William: oooh. Snog him then tell him you have oral herpes!!!
Me:..... you are so wrong!
D: Ooooooooooooooh Do it!
William: Look, practice on D. You need to snog her, then look all sad and sincere and say "Sorry! I've got oral herpes"
D: Do it Do it!
Me: Now?

Sat in the Queue

for carol concert tickets at the Cathedral. Where the flange is James? He was suppose to be meeting me here 10 mins ago. Slacker. So far no response to my "Where are you, you muppet?" text.

Had a panic attack last night when I was trying to sleep. Reasons:

1. Money issues. Though these have been temporarily fixed. Having inner battle with self whether it is worth getting job after Christmas (not that there will be any in a student town) or just slugging it out for one more term.
2. Work issues. I really feel behind this term with everything that's happened.
3. Personal issues. I have no idea what is going on. I have no idea what I want. Do you have any idea how scary that is?

Fuck. James just rang. He's not coming. Is it sad to go to carol service on own? I've been queuing for half hour now.

oh you know what, everything sucks.

Christmas List

1. GHD straighteners
2. money
3. Vouchers for Topshop/Warehouse/Monsoon/River Island
4. A new game for my Wii [haven't decided which one]
5. A food parcel
6. A disco ball for my car
7. some one to re-heel all my shoes that need re-heeling (there is at least 5 pairs)
8. money
9. A bloke to check my tire pressure/oil level/washer stuff in my car [ i'm sure I could do it, I just choose not to]
10. a new red coat
11. the nice purple dress from debenhams (£80, was featured in "How to look good naked")
12. A watch (storm)
13. A well paid graduate job in London
14. petrol
15. The new Terry Pratchett book
16. a voucher for iTunes
17. gym membership (£120)
18. money
19. The new Harry Potter DVD
20. stud earings
21. anything clothing that is that gorgeous cobalt blue colour
22. socks
23. pants
24. money
25. beer
26. wine
27. money for both beer and wine
28. the Eddie Izzard box set (the silver one)
29. a teddy hot water bottle holder

30. Jon there on Christmas morning.

Round 18

I caught 10 Chinese people smoking in our -non smoking - kitchen last night at half 11.

The Big Voice came out:

Jen'sBigVoice: Excuse me. I don't think so. Put all those fags* [not sure if this translates well but i used it anyway] out, or get out.
TCH & Co: oh oh, sorry yes,...
Jen'sBigVoice: I'm sorry, maybe I didn't make myself clear... NOW. Put Them Out. This Is A Non Smoking House and You Will Respect That Or I Will Remove You All From It.
TCH & Co: Silence. (apart from fag's being stuffed out)

\me continues to retrieve milk and cookies while humming London's burning.

3 weeks in a row?

Guess who's on his way over?

Dear Mr Bank Manager

Me: I'm off to speak to Mr HighstreetBank later,
Mum: Oh dear. Are you going to go for weeping into a tissue, or low cut top?
Me: *glances down at me suited and booted* Low cut top.
Mum: Hehe, That's my girl.

Me: Oh Hello, I wonder if I can talk to someone about extending my overdraft?
LadyAtFront: Of course Miss Watson, if you could just wait over there?
Me: certainly.

LadyBankPerson: So Miss Watson, what can I do for you today?
Me: Well, I'd like to extend my overdraft please.
LadyBankPerson: Well I'll see what i can do... What year of study are you in?
Me: Fourth, Only a few months left till i'll be earning some money.. promise!
LadyBankPerson: Hehe, I know the feeling. Well, I can increase it to £largeamount
Me: Brilliant. Is that interest free?
LadyBankPerson: No.
Me: Oh.
LadyBankPerson: Well you see we've already given you £stilllargeamount interest free, for four years now.
Me: Fair point. That'll be fine, thank you.

Me: Mumble mumble, stupid APR, mumble, Natwest are much friendlier.....

Comfort

Just been to counselling. I do find that it really helps; not so much in what they say but in the questions they ask. There were some interesting ones today:

When describing what needs I felt were being met by falling asleep with James I repeatedly used the word Comfort. To be comforted is a child like emotion (adults prefer affection). I need to start to try and find this comfort myself, within myself, rather than look for it from other people. Maybe my "Nontraditional" childhood of it being me and mum (plus Lil Sis) most of the time meant I had to grow up a bit quicker. Well, not much to be done about all that now.

I also have to state that when a psychologist points out the connection with you wanting your Father's approval - and he is in The Armed Forces - and your love for men in uniform, you may feel a little uncomfortable.

Also, I referred to a few people as "My rock" and "stable". Mr Counsellor believes I am looking for something. I told him I just felt lost, and that I was grabbing on to people and routine.

Apparently I contradict myself A LOT. I tell him about all the mad things me and Jon have been through like it's the most exciting soap opera with a huge smile on my face, yet I seem to cling on to the stable nuclear family idea with all my finger nails.

Not that me and Jon even have a future.

I am supposed to spend some time thinking about what I want, and write it down on here: prepare yourselves for a super entry some time soon.